Present Day

I got shit going down. I need to make an appointment to see Dr. Flo.

Dr. Flo is my Therapist and a Sister in Recovery. I know from experience talking with Dr. Flo always works better if I get my shit together beforehand and make notes regarding what’s on my mind.

Memo to Dr. Flo

I know you get the shit I been thru. I’ve come from being run out of the church. I’ve betrayed by family and friends. I’ve had my runs-ins with the law and brushes with death. I’ve knocked on doors and dealt with countless fools to make shit happen. I’ve run all sorts of hustles and scams. Yes, I’ve been homeless on the street and done whatever I needed to do to survive. You name it and I’ve done it to survive. I’ve had the power to take and to give the order to have another man’s life taken. I’ve known and been on Borrowed Time.

Today, I look back on most of this shit without pain, regret, remorse or shame. I can even laugh at some of this shit. I see how this journey has fashioned me for this moment. I see the benefits of where I’ve been and what I’ve been thru not just for me but also for others. The material shit I used to chase, the schemes, scams and hustles, and that used to be so important to me don’t move me like they used to. Make no mistake, I ain’t claiming I’m no longer about material shit. But it doesn’t drive me like it used to. As CEO of New Urban Graffiti Entertainment, I now want to use my experience, strength and hope to help people share the most empowering, profitable, transformational and entertaining stories we can find in the world.

That being said, here’s what’s fucking bothering me, Dr. Flo. I got this motherfucker who has taken us off for at least $20K on a sponsorship deal. I got a board that’s telling me “…we’ll see his sorry ass in Small Claims Court...” That shit is all right. It’s cool if it works. But this person doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know I’m still the same motherfucker who took delight in having the power to take and give the order to have a motherfucker taken off. That’s me yesterday, today, tomorrow and will be until they put my black ass in the ground. Nobody fucking gets a pass.

I want to listen to my Board. I want them to be right and this legal shit is gonna work. But I hear my father’s voice in my head from back in the day “…be a man and stop letting people walk over you…” I haven’t made it back from the hell I’ve been thru by letting assholes like this fucking walk all over me. Then, there’s the principle of the thing. What’s the principle? It’s said that “…in the courtroom justice is blind. But, out here on the street, that bitch can see...” I don’t live in the courtroom and I ain’t that changed or that transformed Dr. Flo. I know I’ve come along way and got good shit now breaking my way.

I no longer see the shit I been thru as just being a tale of the wreckage of my past. Yea, I can laugh at this shit now. Because of the shit I’ve been thru, the lessons learned and seeing God show up and show out saving my black ass time after time, I’m in a better place today than I’ve been in in years and I’m daily gaining greater clarity on God’s Purpose for my life. Today I know it ain’t just fucking about the money. But giving this motherfucker a pass on trying to fuck over me, hell to the fucking no. I am still the brother who took delight in having the power to take a motherfucker off. Now I’m supposed to give him a pass? I don’t think so. I’m asking God to help me with this Dr. Flo. But there’re No Passes.

Read more about the Hunter story In These Rooms.

The Struggle Continues...