“…Let’s give him something to do so we can get a bead on his skills for the future…”--Dr. JJ

I responded to this statement with “…I like the way you think…” It’s about The Way You Think. Legendary Pro Football Player Deon (Prime Time) Sanders was noted for saying “…If you look good, you’ll feel good. If you feel good, you’ll play good. If you play good, they’ll pay you good. It’s all in how you look…” Sorry Deon. But I believe it’s fucking about The Way You Think.

We just celebrated MLK Day. Most people are familiar with Dr. King’s I Have A Dream Speech. What is less known is that halfway thru that speech King said “…in spite of this fact, I still Have A Dream…” King had just finished waxing poetic on the centuries of abuse, racism and injustice Africa-Americans have experienced in this country when he pivoted to the dream he articulated for the world to hear with the phrase “…in spite of this fact…” When I walked out of that jail in Palm Beach Florida on another grand theft auto case, I knew not where I was going next but I had what King referred to as an In Spite of Dream. In Spite of Dreams have been the glue that has kept my black ass together. When I was 40 years old, living with my sister and sleeping on her couch, my teenage son came to visit us. I was ashamed of the situation I was in and that my son had to see me living like that. I was ashamed to have him see me that far down. Today, I am thankful that even in that moment, with all the guilt, shame and remorse, I still had In Spite of Dreams. Thanks Dr. King. I haven’t been to the mountaintop like you. I don’t claim to have looked over and seen any promise land. I have however found the power of your In Spite of Dreams. They haven’t been about the way I or shit looked. They have been about The Way I Think.

The way I’m thinking these days is freeing. Got word from Sean Anderson he needs funding to work on the Bright Futures Initiative for New Urban Graffiti Entertainment. He seemed uncomfortable telling me this. It was as if I had to pull this out of him. I reminded him of the fictional gangster character Hyman Roth from The Godfather movies. This fictional character was based on the real-life person Meyer Lansky. Lansky was a reputed mob accountant who did not die a brutal death like most gangsters. He died at age 96 in a retirement community in Florida. Asked once how he survived in the brutal mob underworld when so many others met with gruesome fates, Lansky was noted to have said “…I survived in the business we were in because I lived by one simple rule. I always make money for my partners…” I told Sean I share the Lansky Rule. “…I am supposed to make money for my partners. What you need ain’t a problem. I count it a blessing to have something going down that can get you paid…” That’s the way I’m thinking these days.

2022 hasn’t started out as any damn picnic. In the first two weeks of this New Year, I have been a part of two funerals with people I love, consoling a friend whose son was stabbed to death by his wife, experienced with my life partner her 96-year-old mother falling and breaking her hip and have another dear friend who is grieving the loss of the love of her life. 

The way I’m thinking right about now is influenced by being brought face to face with my mortality in 2022. The events of this year have reminded my black ass that nothing but my high power has saved me and kept me here. Why the fuck am I still here? Why me? Ask Him if or when you see Him.

Cool thing about the way I’m thinking today has me in a space to move the world. This little girl was at the beach. She was walking along throwing starfish back in the water that had washed up on the shore. A man noticed what she was doing and questioned her about it:

Man: What are you doing?

Little Girl: I am getting the starfish back in the ocean so they don’t die.

Man: (He looked across the beach at all the starfish) Look at all these fish. You’re just one person. You can’t possibly make a difference.

Little Girl: (She picks up a starfish and throws it back in the ocean) I made a difference to that one, didn’t I?

I got word from my life partner, Lucy, that this Cat we know just got fired from his job. Grumpy Greg is racially insensitive. He makes disparaging remarks about people with regularity and seems indifferent to hurting people’s feelings. But he’s never done shit to me. I’ll reach out and see if I can help him. Like the little girl with the starfish, that’ll be me doing my part to make this world a better place one person at a time. It’s kinda like they say in those room of recovery--I don’t have to do this. Today, I get to experience the joy of doing this. It’s all about The Way You Think.

I was traveling this week to see a NUGE client and I got lost or so I thought. Come to find out, I was exactly where I needed to be. But I wasn’t in the moment thinking that way. Highly predictable. There‘s hope, joy and love in the way I’m thinking and feeling these days. I’ve got some good shit going down now. It’s great. Unfortunately, that’s what it is--the way I’m thinking Now. The way I am thinking and feeling today notwithstanding, how will I be thinking tomorrow? I don’t fucking know. Nah Deon, it ain’t about how we look. It’s all about The Way You Think. This ain’t no damn game. This is life. Shit happens. As Dr. JJ likes to say, more to come.

Read more about the Hunter story In These Rooms.

The Struggle Continues...