I was caught stealing from my grandmother’s home and business. Caught redhead handed with the money from the tavern cashbox in my pocket. My running buddies were in the car ready to hit it on my return with the cash when Sarge, my grandmother’s husband, rolled up on us. I was in the bathroom getting the cash out of the cashbox under the sink when there was this loud banging on the door and this thundering voice “...come out of there God-damnit. I know what the fuck you’re doing in there. Get out here now damn it...” This happened. There is no ‘If’ on this earth powerful enough to change that. No ‘If’ can change the fear I felt in that moment. No ‘If’ can change the shame I felt when I had to stand before my family admit what I had done, apologize and ask for forgiveness. There is no fucking ‘If’ powerful enough to change any of this shit.
